Did It Anyway - Part 2 (Episode 52)

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I will do our usual clap even though we never use video. And then I will start it and then I will queue you in for the intro. Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_04 0:14

Hi Josh and Drew. Thank you so much for your podcast. I really appreciate it. I just wanted to share, I did it anyway. Woke up this morning with a ton of anxiety and panic, and uh all I wanted to do was not leave the house and watch TV, but instead I went to work in my infectious disease laboratory and worked with a bunch of different samples, and I did it anyway, and I'm feeling really proud of myself because it's something that I wanted to do and I'm really interested in. Also, I wanted to let you guys know that the ego call that you use on the podcast is actually a red-tailed hawk. Thank you so much for everything.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Welcome to Disordered. This is episode 52. One year of Disordered. And it's uh a big congratulations to my co-host Drew. Um, and I I'm not congratulating myself as such, and maybe I should. Oh, go on there. Go on. One year of Disordered, and we're going to celebrate this episode by doing an episode on Did It Anyway, round two. We did a round one uh several months ago where we celebrate the community wins. And like football or any sport analysts, Drew and I will listen through and comment on them. Um, but without being critical. It's just gonna give you praise and on why it was good, why it was brave, and hopefully it will give you inspiration if you're preparing to do your own did it anyway. Who are you, dude? How about you introduce yourself? Sure, I'm Joshua Fletcher, also known as Anxiety Josh. I'm a psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety disorders and a previous sufferer and author of the book. And how does that make you feel?

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Oh, yeah, that book is coming out soon, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 2:07

It's out uh currently in the US and Canada. Thank you for those who bought it. And for in the UK, it's out on March the 14th. So by the time the next episode's out, it'll be on the shelves.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Absolutely. And I am Drew Linsolata. I am a therapist in training, specializing in anxiety and anxiety disorders in New York and the US of A, an author, a podcaster, an educator, a joker on this topic, and uh co-host of disordered, also a former sufferer uh for many years of my life, anxiety disorders, OCD, depression, all the good stuff. So welcome to episode 52. Happy birthday to us. One yeah, amazing. Nobody sent us balloons. All we got was a harsh correction from a bird lover, which cracked us up. Thank you so much for that. That made my day. Oh, don't don't don't mute my eagle. It's still an eagle to me. So the way she dropped that in at the very end, too, was really great. I I knew it was a hawk.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

I've just named it eagle. Oh I didn't know it was a hawk. Thank you. That made me smile and chuckle. Right. Let's jump straight in with the did it anyways. This is what we're gonna do. We're gonna just use this episode to celebrate the community wins and all the hard work you have done. Shall we start with a quick fire uh written one that uh we received?

SPEAKER_02 3:31

Yeah, let's do it. Go for it.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

Okay, here we go. Let's jump straight in. Hey guys, I've been dealing with agrophobia, especially in car rides, after a major panic attack I had in my car. I have been anxious the whole day because I knew I was going out for dinner. I didn't want to let my fear take over and went. I was scared. I did get that fight or flight feeling, but I made sure to socialize and ended up having a good time. So good. It's amazing. We do have Matthew McConaughey back in the audience for this one. He came back for the anniversary show. Yeah, he loved he loved for the anniversary show. He loved the first round there, anyways.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

So good. Why is that good, Drew? Uh, you know what? And that's going to be a common theme here. Like, even though I was afraid and triggered and all those things, I decided to pay attention to things outside of my own head and like interact with the stuff going on around me. And it's all worked out.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

Yeah, also when you do engage with socializing, one it acts as a good distraction, but also activates parts of your brain that signals to you as a mammal, look, you're socializing now. This is part of doing things. And if you're socializing, then you must be safe. And I found that when I'm socializing, the anticipatory anxiety is 50 times worse than practicing with your attention on things that non-anxious you would do. And you notice that, and that will be a theme that comes up as well today.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

Yeah, 100%. I think also the socializing thing, that trapped thing, excuse me, becomes an issue. Like, what if I get trapped in a conversation and this person allowed themselves to go ahead and be trapped in conversations and interactions, like, well, let's let it play out however it plays out, and it turned out well for them. So big lesson.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

You've been trapped in a boring conversation every day. Hey, I've got feelings.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

I was gonna say a cheap joke. I'm in one now. No.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

Every year, true, we argue on our anniversary.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Why can't it just be nice? Why can't we just have a nice dinner? Come on. Um, everybody gets trapped in boring conversations. It happens, but for an anxious person, that's like a red alert. Like, oh no, I won't be able to get away if I want to run, and then they'll see me panicking and they'll know I'm anxious, and then they'll see I'm defective. So I love that this person rolled the pentamillion gun, took a chance, and and it worked out. Excellent. Superb. What have you got, Drew? What are you bringing to the table? Um, how about we do I'll do an audio one? We have we have so many audios, we have some some written ones, so I'm gonna play an audio one. We'll see how this one goes, and then we'll kind of go on from there. So here we go.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Hey there, Josh and Drew. How are you? My name is Adam. You can use my name on the show. Uh, thank you for everything that you do. This new podcast is great. It's really helping me with my panic disorder and agoraphobia. So I did want to share a win. I went to a baseball game uh with thousands of people in a big stadium with lots of noise and lots of lights and no quick exit. Um and sitting there for a while, I was shaking and panicking, and everything in my brain was telling me just get up and go and making every excuse in the book to do so, but I did not. I stayed with it, and you know, I said I really want to see how long I can stay. I really want to see if I can enjoy the game and kind of drown out all of the negative thoughts and emotions that were going on in my head. Um, I'd probably say after about 20 minutes or so, I did to the point where I actually noticed that I was so involved with enjoying the game and talking to people around me that I wasn't thinking about any emergency exits or trying to leave or coming up with a plan to try to get out of the stadium. So that was a huge win for me. I ended up staying the entire game, and as you probably know, um, Josh, maybe not you in the UK, but Drew, you know, American baseball, the game is very long. And uh, you know, I sat there for almost uh two, two and a half hours uh and left feeling really, really energized, really confident, and that was a huge boost to my recovery. So just wanted to share that and thank you guys so much for everything you do. I really appreciate it. Keep it up.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Another killer of a win there.

SPEAKER_03 7:37

Outstanding. Well done, my man. That's uh that's brilliant. Uh it I was saying to Drew when we first listened to this, like uh the twenty it's usually around 20 minutes. If you can tolerate it there and have your brain engaged, the amygdala just wants to go, fine, nothing bad's happened here. Amygdala. That very same one. Well done, I'm glad. And I bet you feel even more confident going to the next baseball game now, uh, because you've done that rewiring. That's what that confidence is. Oh, I've rewired my brain a little bit here. Superb.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

Yeah. Then you can forklift. I like to use the word forklift, you forklift that experience to other hard things. Oh, wait, I was able to do it at the baseball game. So what if I give it a shot at this movie or this concert or this dinner for my grandma's birthday or whatever it happens to be? Um, yeah, I like that.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

Forklifting. Uh also, also, if you think baseball's long, you should try cricket. Although the advantage that people have at cricket is that everyone is collectively self-medicating by chugging beer and cider, not as a safety behavior from anxiety, but from cricket itself.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

I have to save myself from the cricket with the cider. Wow. Talk about shots fired. Sorry, cricket fans around the world.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

I don't mind cricket, actually. I live next to a cricket stadium, so it's quite nice.

SPEAKER_02 8:51

Very good. Uh, you know what? And I was gonna say I give uh this person even extra credit because baseball is not an easy if you were at a hockey game. I'm a huge hockey fan, probably. It's obvious here. It's fast, it's engaged. Uh, you know, a European football game, soccer, it's it's engaging, it's always going on. There's a lot of breaks in baseball. There's a lot of space in American baseball to just go and get very introspective and go inwards. So this is a double win for me because it's not like a super like action-filled game that you can get sucked into.

SPEAKER_03 9:20

More opportunities for that inwards compulsion because it's not frenetic and yeah, consuming all your attention. So, yeah, even better. Well done.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Yeah, yeah, I think so. Um, all right, what should we go from here? Do I do another written one? Uh I'll flip a coin. All right, let's do it. No, it says it says do do another audio one. Do another one. That's the magic eight ball says do another audio one. All right, cool. We'll do another audio one right now. So let's hear it.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Hey Drew and Josh. I'm Grace and I'm from Ireland. I wanted to send a message of hope to my fellow listeners there on Disordered. I'm 43 years of age, and when I was 40, I had my first ever panic attack. It was absolutely horrific, and I didn't know what was happening to me. And I suffered with severe anxiety for about five months thereafter. I wasn't able to work, I was barely able to leave my house. It was extremely difficult. And there was no trigger, if I look back really, I was just overworked and stressed at the time. I'm not a natural warrior. Um, but since I discovered Drew and Josh's podcast and read Josh's books as well, um it's helped to educate me and realise just how normal and common anxiety is, and also how insignificant it is in relation to a whole part of a person's personality as well. So I've learned to um tolerate it and really just um minimise my importance that I put on it when I feel anxiety. So as a result, it's getting less and less. Each time I've had anxiety since it's dissipated in a matter of hours or a matter of days. So I'm really positive about that. And what I would liken it to is um last Christmas I was in the city centre and I walked by an ex-boyfriend who had unceremoniously dumped me there about 15 years ago. And at the time I was inconsolable, I was crying every day, thinking, Oh, how am I gonna go on with life without him? But when I met him last Christmas, I just said hello to him. We had a quick chat, and then we said our goodbyes and went our opposite ways. And I remember thinking, what? Why was he so important to me at the time? What was I thinking? And that's a bit what anxiety is to me now. It's completely unimportant. So thank you for all the work you do, and just to let you know you've helped me so much. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Oh, come on. So good grace. You were reflecting back over the years compassionately as well, which is essential to make progress.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

I love the the ex-boyfriend analogy. You know, we were putting it together. I'm like, okay, this one's pretty long, but that had to stay in because that is such a great way to reframe it. Like, oh, anxiety is like that. You know, why was I so concerned about that? Uh do you ever think that about your when you look back, like, how did I get sucked into that?

SPEAKER_03 12:07

Yeah, what you you look back at at previous relationships and it doesn't evoke the same feelings and importance to you. And I think that's yeah, a good way to frame anxiety disorders. It can once be the center of your life um where you do have a relationship with it as well. But when that relationship with it doesn't become important anymore, it doesn't bother you. Maybe during a relationship in the past, you know, you have thoughts about this person you're with, and it's can be consuming, very evocative, very powerful. Maybe the breakup's powerful, the grief's powerful with it. And then, you know, if you think of an ex now, you're like, well, I hope they're all right, can see things through a calm lens. It's a nice analogy for anxiety as well.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

It really is, especially when uh people will say, and you know, Josh and I are very open about our own situations, I think. You know, yes, I can have a panic attack once in a long while, maybe a couple times a year, who knows? And people will say, but then how can you possibly say you recovered? Because the panic attack now is like the the ex-partner, the ex-romantic part of the ex-boyfriend.

SPEAKER_03 13:13

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Oh yeah. That relationship doesn't is not as important as it once was. So this is a I cannot love this analogy anymore. Metaphor, analogy. I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

So big thanks to Grace's ex. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Good job, thank you for unceremoniously dumping.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Grace is gonna come after me now.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

That's not what I meant. She's closer to you than she is to me. So I'm pretty safe here in New York. Um, if we don't hear from Josh, we know that Grace is upset.

SPEAKER_03 13:40

No, well done, Grace. It's such a good it's the perfect analogy. Um, yeah, and and and it might evoke something. Like if I bump into an ex, I'll be a bit surprised, and it will bring up emotions and I'll be like, oh, well, that was interesting. But then I carry on with my day. Right recovery. Now, oh my god, I'm not recovered, it's back. Oh my god, there's my ex. Oh my god, it's all coming back.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

No, no, just yeah, yeah, it happened, now it's not. I'm not glued to that person anymore. I mean, that sounds very negative, but I'm not attached to that person anymore. In the in the ex-partner analogy, same situation. I'm not attached to the anxiety anymore. So people will say, but but how could you just be okay with having a panic attack? Because I'm not attached to it anymore, like you are with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend or whatever, ex-partner. So, you know what? I at some point, Grace, if you're listening, and I'm guessing that you are, when I start writing again, I'm a you I'm used to that. I'm gonna steal that and I will give you credit and we'll talk about that because I want to use that for sure.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

It's a really good one.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Yeah, that's why fine. That's fine.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

Uh, very good. Hi, Josh and Drew. First panic attack seven months ago, which left me thinking I'm going insane. I hear you, been there. And I've been ruminating on this ever since. But with the knowledge from you two genius people, I wouldn't say we're geniuses. Wow. Definitely not. Uh, I now know my jug had overflowed. DPDR followed, which really made me think the worst case scenario. But from all your knowledge, I'm now starting to learn how to silence Craig the Critic. It's Craig the Critic. Yeah, he's there, he's always there. A normal life is starting to resume slowly. I have a Did It Anyway planned. I turned 50 this year and I'm going on a cruise in November. So this is an old one that I've not read out yet. So I wonder how how the cruise went. And I'm determined to go on it, and Craig will probably come along. But from your help and advice, I'm sure I can get through it and will report back with my did it anyway. I will be anxious, but that's okay now, as I know I'm now going in. I and now now I know I'm not going insane, and I can be me again. I cannot thank you guys enough for helping myself and others. Never stop doing what you're doing. Love it. Love it. I tried to find the follow-up to this, you know. Uh so let's uh yeah, how did your cruise go?

SPEAKER_02 16:25

Yeah, go to disorder.fm and let us know. Update us for sure. Yeah, yeah, that's that's great. Well done. I like it. Very, very good. You know what I love about that? I will be anxious. So in November, when he had this trip plan, this person had a trip plan. The the acknowledgement that, like, oh, I I know I'm gonna be anxious, I'm expecting it going in. What a huge shift that is. I'm choosing to go be anxious so I can practice this because I know I can handle it now.

SPEAKER_03 16:46

Huge, yeah, and even that mindset's great, and and also with Craig the Critic. And yeah, my internal critic will come too. But as like we said in the car analogy, bring Craig the Critic with you, but it sits in the back, doesn't sit up front, messing with the dials, telling you which way to drive. It can just whine in the back. You can drown, drown out Craig the Critic with your own choice of tasteful or not tasteful music.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

Not tasteful. That's my choice, is not tasteful because you're all the time. You know, it's cool about that. Like Craig the Critic starts to get drowned out. Yeah, you can you can drown him out with music, of course, but it gets drowned out with your experiences over time. Like, oh, I know you think I'm incapable of this and I'm weak and I'm worse, and this is never gonna work for me, but let me show you. And after a while, that voice does start to get a little quieter. And can't guarantee it'll always go away. We all have a little Craig the Critic sometimes, but it carries much less weight and it does start to get a little bit bored after a while. Like, I'm gonna stop trying to tell you not to do this because you do it anyway.

SPEAKER_03 17:46

So yeah, yeah, yeah. You you you you've literally proven me wrong. I'll give you all of this anticipatory anxiety and how you're gonna fail and how all the disasters can happen. But when you do it and see that the anticipation never really matches the experience, you start you prove it wrong, and it has no other choice but to be wrong and quiet. Just backs away and goes, Oh, well, yeah, you proved me wrong again there.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Yeah, yeah, experience matters. Let's do another red uh written one. This one was sent in not too long ago, actually, this past week. Um, hi Josh and Drew. I'm not gonna say the name because I'm not sure if that's allowed. Um, I am all the way from Hong Kong. I am still wondering how to get Josh's book. Oh, well, you can go to disorder.fm slash 52 and I'll have a link. How did you know I wrote a book? I have kept that quiet. You have. He's barely discussed it at all. Uh, but first of all, I wanted to say thank you both for what you do. I have been listening to your podcast since last year, one year mark, and it has really helped me with my health anxiety and anxiety uh overall, other than going to therapy myself. Well done, you. Um, I also want to share a did it anyway. So I was out for dinner with a friend, and a couple of minutes in, I started to feel really anxious and uncomfortable. I started feeling symptoms of chest pains and dizziness, all of which is making me think I'm going to have a panic attack. For the first time, I sat through my panic attack. It came to a point where I had a sensation of pain piercing through my chest, which in my head really indicates that I was having a heart attack, but I just sat through it. My friend was talking and I was just looking at her as if I was listening, but I was uncomfortable. I didn't do my usual routine of saying, oh no, I'm having a panic attack. Can we go? I didn't pop a mint or excuse myself to go for a walk. The sensation went on for almost an hour. I didn't give in to my first sensation. Uh, so then it gave me another one, which made me think, uh oh, I'm gonna have an aneurysm because my head was hurting and it was piercing uh too. I sat through it again, really uncomfortable, until after an hour and a half of just sitting through it, my body felt relieved and I felt so light and full of energy. My friend could see it too. And so that was my did it anyway. I sat through the fear.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

Oh, that's a banger. That's a really good one. That's outstanding as well. Oof, all the way in Hong Kong as well. Well done. Yeah, we are superb. Uh oh, that's that's literally doing it. That's how you do an exposure. Well done. The willful tolerance in a nutshell, willful tolerance of the symptoms, the physical, the uncertainty. Uh, literally doing what non-anxious you would do. And yeah, what's what's some powerful rewiring there? The brain's the anxious response was like, You sure, you sure? What about this new symptom? You sure, you sure? Oh, and then it dissipates.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

Right. After a while, it does run out of steam, you know. Um, there was so much good in here. This is like a textbook example of everything that we talk about, sort of rolled into one story. But my favorite part was my friend was talking and I was just looking at her as if I was listening. So so often you'll get, you know, this guy. It's Craig, the critic, who's like, oh, you can't, you're you're trying to, you should pay attention to her, but you can't. You're just so consumed. Well, he did the best he could to pretend in a way. I'll act as if I'm listening. Maybe I'm not, I'm preoccupied. Let me give it that 51% attention. 51% and do what non-actress you would do. Yep. Oh, I love it. Yep. Without demanding, like, yes, I was fully engaged with the conversation. I try to be fully engaged with the conversation as best as I could. And guess what? That is good enough. That sends the the signal back down the chain to to your lizard brain, your limbic system for sure.

SPEAKER_03 21:24

Superb. Honestly, it was absolutely brilliant.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

100%. Uh, should we go to an audio? We have one more audio. It's a good one. Okay, sounds good. Let's bring it.

SPEAKER_05 21:35

Hi, Drew and Josh. My name is Ashley, and I live in Tampa, Florida. Um, I'm a longtime listener of both of your separate podcasts, and very grateful that you guys have created a singular podcast together. Um, I just wanted to call in and share. Uh, did it anyways. I had a relapse or resurgence of anxiety, if you will, that developed into Pretty severe OCD. Back in October, my sister uh very suddenly had to move back to Florida, and it was up to me and her to drive her all of her stuff back home. I was really deep in a specific OCD theme at that time and struggling immensely just to get out of my bed. Uh, but I had to drive a 10-foot U-Haul from Tennessee to Florida for 10 hours, and I really didn't think that I could do it. I always said that I never would, but I did it. And I did it scared. I did it dissociating at certain points, but I did it despite what anxiety told me I could or couldn't do. And it was just a huge win. I attribute some of my abilities to do the hard things to you guys for teaching us um what those hard things are. So thank you guys so much for all your help. It really does save lives, and and you guys make a huge difference in this world.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

That's amazing. Another person kind of killing it here. You guys are killing it with these. You guys kill it with these every week. There's so many. So many. I presume uh that drive is a long drive. Everything in America is a long drive. Nothing is close to each other here. So Tennessee to Florida, I'm guessing, you know. Well, she said 10 hours, right? So wow.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

That's a long ride. Well done. That's incredible. And what I liked about it stuck out for me, I did it whilst feeling dissociated. It's like, I'll do it whilst with the DPDR. You know, that's because people sometimes fall into the trap or the mistake of being like, oh, you know, I can't do anything until this the symptoms disappear. No, you did it whilst doing that.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Superb. Yeah, yeah. DPDR for those of you, and listen, it's really uncomfortable. That was one of my things too. But if you're feeling like you want to keep drawing a line in the sand around DPDR, no, no, no, this is different. This is too much. Go back to this did it anyway, because this person was driving through. And I know that that got pretty rural too, going from Tennessee to Florida. They were driving through some pretty rural, sparsely populated areas, even while depersonalized, and like I'm gonna bring it with me. So huge, huge win there for sure. Superb. Well done. Well done. You want to get another one to read? I have one. If you got one, you I've got one.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

Yeah, I've got one. Here we go. I have uh hashtag did it anyway. I had my first panic attack three months ago at a close friend's bachelorette party. We were we were on a boat in the middle of a New Orleans swamp tour, and I was wearing a hat that said bride squad, which which might be the most embarrassing way to have a mental health crisis ever. Since then, I've been dealing with massive spikes in anxiety and unpredictable panic attacks. My friend's wedding has been a massive stressor for me, likely because it indirectly kicked everything off in the first place. I'm a bridesmaid, and just thinking about standing up in front of everyone and potentially passing out, throwing up, etc., was enough to send me over the edge. I almost dropped out about 10,000 times, but decided to do it anyway. This weekend, my friend got married, and I was right by her side. It wasn't comfortable or easy, but I'm so proud of myself for going for it. Love it. Love it. Oh, where's my sound effect? There it is. Sorry, slipped off the button. Love that. Love that. Another example of anticipatory anxiety trying to convince you all the disaster will happen, but then you come out swinging, cheering, because you realize you're more capable than you think. And anxiety will amplify itself in the anticipation, but you got the credit by doing something really brave and well done. And what a good friend you are as well.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

Yeah, 100%. I love the image of the bride squad hat. That's just so good. Um, I mean, you know what's so good too? I think it it's an illustration of this person was clearly being a little humorous as she was relaying the story, which I love. When you go through it and you do you stand up to the fear and you move through it, you navigate through it, you willfully tolerate it, you get that rush of like superpower thing, and it really gives you a different perspective. And you could start to see how your the story that you tell yourself after, the reaction after the event starts to change. And now she was able to inject some humor in there and make it a little bit lighthearted. Whereas back in the day, my guess that person would have told a story of high anxiety in a very urgent, foreboding, dark way. It was horrible. I felt like it was gonna pass out, but nope, changed a little bit. Look, I'm I'm making fun of it almost.

SPEAKER_03 26:38

Love it. Yeah, yeah, it's so good. Yeah, and not a nice uh relationship with it, and uh yeah, I still got that image. So good.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

In the middle of a swamp with the bride, and I have the feeling that it was a huge one of those like with a foam front and it was just screen printed anyway. That it just makes it even better. Like, I don't I'm on vacation, I'm not supposed to be here.

SPEAKER_03 27:03

Matthew McConnell McConaughey's just laughing his head off in the front there, but he's also clapping with uh with with pride and admiration.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Isn't he? Oh no, he's from Texas. That's not a swab. Sorry, Texas, that's my mistake. Um, okay, I have another one. So let's see. This one starts Hilson from Norya. So this is a message from Norway. Hi, Noria. Tusen talk for the message.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

Um, I wanted to someone did Duolingo for two days.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

I did Duolingo for a full year. Every day for a year, I practice Norwegian on Duolingo. And guess how much Norwegian I know? I'm holding it. I'll I'll handle this Norwegian restaurant order. I'm sure I'll handle this. Um, I know zero Norwegian. So sorry, Duolingo. It was fun, but it didn't really work. Um, I want to share a big ditted anyway. Today I was going to the library with my two kids. There was a magician performing, and they were so excited to go. I would be too. Um eating breakfast, I noticed it was hard for me to breathe, and I felt a pressure and a tightness in my chest. This came, of course, with many heart palpitations and skipped beats. There it has been a while since I was this close to blowing the whole thing off, and I started saying to my kids that I didn't feel well and maybe we couldn't go. But guess what? I did it anyway, and I had a great time, and the rest of the day also turned out great. You cannot keep Norway down. I'm sorry, you just can't.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

No, you can't. That brilliant. Uh to the library with a magician, and there's loads of things going on and stimulus, and well done. And again, it turned out great. Really courageous. Love that. I love that. Um uh oh, well done. Unless you use the magician to make your anxiety disappear, therefore, that could be a compulsion. So if anyone who always keeps a magician close, that's compulsive behavior. That was me. I wouldn't go anywhere without a magician back in a giant clown suit.

SPEAKER_02 29:05

It wasn't bad, just all the dramatic moves in the cape, it really got in the way in many places. Like, do you have to wear the cape, magician? But anyway.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

Um this guy, this guy helps with my anxiety. Just ignore him swallowing swords and plucking coins from behind your ear.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

This is my emotional support magician. Here are my papers. He gets to sit next to me on the plane. Oh, wait, the papers have disappeared.

SPEAKER_03 29:29

Oh, wait, check your pocket.

SPEAKER_02 29:31

Yeah, pull the emotional support magician papers out behind the flight attendant's ear. There's like explosions in his hand all the time.

SPEAKER_03 29:43

Can't imagine that an American customs. Uh I don't I don't think they'd appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

It's my emotional support magician. Why have we not invented now? I maybe we did just invent that, and I think we should probably take a few hours and run with that. That's our new business plan, emotional support magician. We will get back to us in that in about six months. We'll have it ready for you.

SPEAKER_03 30:02

Um, we love these did it anyways. If you were inspired by these and want to share your own did it anyway or questions, uh, you can send them to disordered.fm, uh, where you can leave a voicemail or send us a message. We try our best to get through them all. And when we collate a lot and stuff and we have some, we star them and then we put them in an episode. But no matter what your did it anyway is, or no matter what if it's big to you, we understand we've been there and we want to hear it.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Yeah, I agree. So voicemails, emails, whatever, we do try to listen to all of them. And I will just say thank you so much to everybody who's been listening for a year. It doesn't feel like we've been doing this for a year, to be honest with you. I was surprised when I saw this was episode 52.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

Uh yeah, one one year of disordered. And if you have got anything out of the show and and and appreciate anything that we do, or we'd really appreciate um uh a podcast review on Apple or Spotify or whatever you listen to, uh, because that that helps us. And it's nice to see, particularly week on week, we get new listeners who just find us organically, which is really lovely. And uh you never know, you know, someone with an anxiety disorder who's feeling quite low to join this community and and hear all these encouraging things. So thank you for supporting us. And yeah, we're gonna keep going. Uh this is Disordered Episode 9000.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

And we're still using the red tail hawk and calling it an eagle, so too bad, everybody. That's the way it's gonna go. Anyway, yeah, thanks for hanging out. Josh, as always, thanks for spending the time. I this is one of my favorite hours of the week that we do, and uh yeah, we'll see you guys next week. Catch you soon. Yep.