Anxiety and Not Feeling The "Right" Emotions (Episode 138)
When you're at your child's birthday party, your wedding day, or on a much-anticipated vacation, do you find yourself feeling anxious instead of joyful—and then getting frustrated with yourself for "not feeling the right way"? In this episode, Drew and Josh explore one of the most common traps in anxiety recovery: judging yourself for having the "wrong" emotions.
You'll hear about how people struggling with panic disorder, agoraphobia, OCD, and other anxiety challenges often add a second layer of suffering by criticizing themselves for not feeling grateful, happy, or calm in moments when they think they "should" be. Josh and Drew discuss how this pattern shows up during holidays, special events, and everyday situations, and why trying to control or optimize your emotions typically backfires.
The conversation covers:
- Why "all feelings are welcome" is more than just a nice phrase—it's a practical recovery principle
- How fighting against the emotions you're experiencing makes it less likely you'll move through them naturally
- The difference between desensitized and sensitized responses to anxiety
- Why your brain is a prediction engine, not a reaction machine, and what that says about emotions
- How willful tolerance applies even before anxiety shows up
- Why comparing yourself to others around you ("they're all relaxed and I'm not") keeps you stuck
You'll also hear inspiring "Did It Anyway" stories from listeners who pushed forward despite uncomfortable feelings, including someone who hadn't left their house in days but went to a holiday event anyway, and a new mother who faced her lifelong fear during an emergency C-section.
This episode may be particularly helpful if you're heading into holiday gatherings, family events, or any situation where you're putting pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. The guys remind us that recovery isn't measured by the absence of symptoms—it's measured by your willingness to be with them.
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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is now available. If you're struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.
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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or leave a voicemail on our website.
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Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, sign up for our email list using the form on this page.
